Differences and Profiling!

A few months back I was a part of a workshop with around 30 other people. There was something which had struck me odd back then. The realization and the associated feelings have kept on coming back to me at different times.

People were sharing their individual life stories in small groups. Some of these stories were being subsequently shared with the larger group. Most of the stories were of “having made it big inspite of being from a difficult background or having overcome significant obstacles in life”. I found this common emerging theme odd. I wondered – “in a group of 30 individuals, not even a single story which is different!. I didn’t hear anyone speak of an easy childhood or growing up years. What could be the reasons?”

There are a few possibilities:

• Does the group have a selection mechanism which “filters in” only specific kind of profiles and “filters out” all/most other kind of profiles?
• Is there a strong “compliance dynamic” in play within the group - something which makes individuals speak of themselves in a certain light – because that is what seems to be valued within the group? In a sense, there is a subtle rejection, of anyone who doesn’t proclaim to be of this type. Hence “socially acceptable answers” are expressed in group settings. This may be the case even though the group members may have significant differences in their ways of being.
• Principle of Similarity and Liking! - People speak of themselves in a certain light because the recipient feels good if he were to hear that story.

If I were to reflect on the typical member profile of this group, what would his/her profile be?

The person would be “a male in his late 20s/early 30s, married , with young kids or without kids, owning a 2 box or an entry level 3 box car, left brained, with some quirky habit or the other, would be a good teacher, would come from a middle class background, would have had to overcome significant difficulties to make it to wherever he has made it, and would be extremely loving and caring about his/her significant others in life.”

There’s nothing wrong with having a group profile like this, but how does the group react to someone who doesn’t fit into this profile description? Is the group “accepting” of differences, or “rejecting” of them? That would be the key!

How would we know what’s the usual preference of the group – “accepting” or “rejecting” of differences?

One possibility is to ask open ended questions and look out for similarity/divergence of themes in the answers you hear.

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Sourav