So how have you felt working with us?

So here I was with this group of around 30 people asking them ‘How have you felt working with us in the year gone by?’.

Soon I was wondering whether I was in a field full of minefields. Whatever I said or did evoked negative reactions. The experiences recounted were of ‘My boss is unsupportive’, ‘the policies are not conducive to certain circumstances/situations we have faced’, ‘a showdown between two team members’, etc.

I wondered ‘Do these guys work for the same company as I do? Where is so much negativity coming from?’.

I soon realized something different needed to happen within the room. I decided to experiment and see if people could recount positive experiences they have had at work.

I asked them ‘Can you recount positive working experiences from the year gone by? Share some of them; tell us what happened; who all were involved; and how you felt.’

Soon a feeble voice emerged from somewhere ‘Thank you for bringing this question up. The experiences some people here have shared don’t resonate with me. I only have positive experiences to talk about especially when it comes to my boss.’ She subsequently narrated an experience at work which had made her feel good. Slowly but surely the section of the group that had till then been silent started sharing their experiences – and these were positive experiences.

A wave of positive energy seemed to spread through the room. But something completely unexpected happened soon. Employees’ who had shared their negative experiences initially, started sharing their positive experiences. Amazingly many of these positive experiences were with the same people with whom they had negative experiences.

There are two specific takeaways from this session which have stayed with me:

• Our mind seems to be attuned to remembering hurts, setbacks, and other negative experiences. The same is not necessarily true for positive experiences – we seem to take them for granted and forget them. That’s why we probably say ‘I learn from my mistakes’. But I have hardly ever heard anyone say ‘I learn from my successes.’
• When a certain group and kind of feeling takes centre-stage, it is difficult for group/s with contradictory views or an opposite kind of feeling to express themselves. So if the predominant feelings that are being shared are negative, positive feelings/experiences would get crowded out. Those who have had positive experiences would find it difficult to speak up. Those who have had both negative and positive experiences, would only talk of negative experiences.

The challenge for a facilitator is to create a space where individuals can delve into and express both negative and positive feelings. There is a chance that a neutral question like ‘How have you felt over the last year?’ would cause only negative feelings to emerge.

A possible solution might be to structure the discussion in three parts. The first question would be ‘How have you felt working over the last year?’. This is a neutral question. If it ensures positive experiences are shared, a facilitator’s job becomes easier. In case the neutral question results in an overdose of negative experiences being expressed, it would make sense to explore with the group ‘Times when they have felt good and happy working here’. Using positive emotions expressed, a facilitator can subsequently lead the group towards taking ownership for creating a workplace they feel more engaged to and energized by.

-

Sourav