Changeovers

“I am leaving!” – the words rung in my ears, my heart skipped a beat, and for a few fleeting seconds I felt I was having a bad dream.

But true it was. Akshat was leaving!

How would it feel dancing in that studio knowing that he would not be there and, in all probability, would never be there again?

I remember Akshat asking us a few years back “Why do you guys come back here to dance? What is it about this place that makes it special? There are a plethora of dance studios on Hill Road? Why do you choose to be here?”

I had answered “I had joined because I wanted some physical activity and dancing is what I have always enjoyed. I had stayed on initially because I saw that you guys focused so much on technique and on working the right muscles. I felt I was growing as a dancer and that made me feel so good. But I am not sure that explains why I have been here for a couple of years and why I have never thought of leaving. What I have found special is when Jaision, Safia, Sakshi, Himanshu, Tanushree, or you speak so passionately about what you guys are doing. The passion rubs off on me. It makes me feel that I am with people who completely believe in what they are doing. That’s special! I am here because of each one of you.“

So how would it feel now, knowing that Akshat would not be around? I got a taste of it last Saturday – Akshat’s last class at this studio.

We were performing while Akshat was sitting in the corner of the studio – dressed up in jeans and a t-shirt. He looked weird – I have known him as a dancer in his loose baggy pants and sleeveless t-shirts.

Arjun – Akshat’s replacement – was trying hard to hold together the attention of the class. I am not sure of the other students but Arjun certainly was not managing to hold my attention. I was distracted. I felt a sense of rejection and I rejected Arjun in return. I murmured “things would not be the same again.”

The class ended, handshakes and hugs were exchanged, some young kids broke down, and I walked out of the studio with a tinge of sadness.

Come Sunday afternoon and I was back in the studio. I thought I had recovered but I clearly had not. I saw Arjun taking the class again. I felt a sense of anger rising up in me. I thought “does he really feel he can take up Akshat’s place?”.

An hour into the class, we were working our triceps. I realized that even in a turned out position, Arjun’s inner things were not locked. I smirked – “technique! yeah right!”.

We slowly got to the pass and then the routine section of the class. I felt a bit switched off. I was struggling in picking up the feeling. I was doing the steps but the flow was missing.

I fell back on my usual defence – observing someone who I could pick up the energy from. Who could help me out now? I looked around. Who is truly feeling and dancing the music?

I found someone, but I was taken back. It was Arjun! Every time the music played you felt he owned the space.

Arjun may not be perfect at technique. Akshat’s lines might be better than Arjun’s. But Arjun has a natural sense for musicality – one of the best I had seen. Put on any kind of music – he just gets into the flow.

Through the remainder of the class I kept on drawing energy from Arjun. The more I performed the less tired and the more energized I felt. I was breathing hard but I was not short of breath. I was perspiring but could dance on and on.

The class ended. I sighed and exclaimed! Why did it have to? But it did!

It was the post class discussion. I looked at Arjun and felt an attachment had been formed. He had made me feel energized to come back to his classes.

An hour later, I was sipping on my evening cup of tea. I wondered “How much of a chance do we give successors when we have been closely attached/associated or have believed in the predecessors? Do we classify differences as bad, or explore differences as possible sources of strength and change?”

What is the message we give to a successor?

• “Prove yourself to me”, or
• “Welcome. I hope you can express yourself completely and I would be non-judgemental enough to provide you with enough opportunities.”

So here it goes - Welcome Arjun! I do look forward to your classes.

-

Sourav